Between the Lines
by Abagail Snow
Summary: Rachel and Finn become friends... then something more. Missing scenes starting from the Pilot through New York.
1. Season 1, Part 1

**Series of "missing scenes" from the first 13 episodes. The story comes about because there seemed to be a lot of holes in Finn/Rachel's story especially during the second half of season 1 and a lot of season 2. I plan on tackling the back 9 and the first half of season 2 as well and probably future parts of the series. Each segment is pretty standalone but stays canon with the show and canon with itself if… that makes sense. Like there's continuity or something… **

Between the Lines

"I'm Rachel Berry."

That's how it all begins.

He can't remember ever seeing this girl before and wonders if she's new or something. Nobody else in the club seems to like her and he can sort of understand why. She's kind of… intense. Just the way she's looking at him makes him consider taking out a restraining order. There's something about her that's kind of cool though. She's really peppy and motivated and she's kind of cute. In fact he's pretty sure if she was a few inches taller she could totally be a Cheerio.

"You haven't introduced yourself," she says, which he thinks is kind of weird because he's like the quarterback.

"Oh. Right, I'm Finn."

She begins talking then… and doesn't stop. She asks him if he has a MySpace and he laughs. _Yeah. When I was 5._ He wants to say but instead he shrugs it off and tells her he's never heard of it. She scribbles something on a piece of paper and explains that it's the best resource for raw talent to be discovered and some other stuff that he tunes out because he's too busy trying to figure out how to escape the auditorium without any of the other popular kids seeing him.

"Cool," he says because he's pretty sure that's the best way to get rid of her.

He jams the scrap of paper in his pocket and doesn't even think about it till five days later, after the club has performed _Don't Stop Believing,_ when his mom comes up from the basement reminding him to empty his pockets before putting his clothes in the wash. She hands him the note and when he unfolds it he realizes that it's a gold star Post It with her MySpace URL scrawled across it.

He spends the rest of the night on her page watching her videos and reading her info.

_Relationship Status: Single._ Cool.

* * *

They rehearse until almost 9PM. She's called her dads 3 times now, each time pushing her departure time back another hour. Finally they master that mix of sexy and cool they're looking to achieve for Friday's assembly and they're actually having fun doing it.

As she's packing up her CD collection she overhears Kurt talking with the rest of the glee kids. "I don't care if it's a school night. We're all watching _Dirty Dancing_ at my house tonight to get into proper character."

She thinks it's nice that the rest of the glee kids have gotten so close but as a leader she knows it's important for her and Finn to isolate themselves from them in order to maintain the proper balance of power. At least that's what she tells herself. In reality she knows that Finn has his popular friends while she has no one.

"Are you going?" She hears Finn ask and when she looks up she realizes that he's talking to her.

She shrugs shyly. "I don't really think I'm invited."

"Why not?" Finn flashes her one of his patented sideways grins and she thinks she might die. He's not particularly smart and she finds those he chooses to associate with as friends to be absolute cretins, but there's something so genuine in the way he looks at her that has her tricked into believing he likes her.

"I'm in."

The entire choir room falls silent and everyone is left staring at Finn.

"_You_ want to come?" Kurt asks incredulously.

"Well, yeah. We're like a team… right? On the football team we do stuff together all the time. Although usually it involves beer and girls and stuff and not some movie I've never heard of."

Kurt shrugs. "With Artie's wheelchair I don't have room for everyone."

"That's cool. I've got my car, I can take Rachel."

Rachel gasps. Audibly. He's going to kill, she just knows it.

His car is a piece of junk and she's sure her fathers would scold her for stepping into it, especially since she's fairly certain the passenger seatbelt is only there for decoration. He's mumbling something about driving so slow because he only has his permit and they just got the windshield replaced but all Rachel can focus on is the Classic Rock song he's tapping his finger to that she's never heard before. She reminds herself to download more of the genre so that they'll have something to talk about at glee rehearsal.

"I think it's really cool. What you're doing for the club," Finn says after a while. He turns and smiles at her and in most cases she'd demand he return his attention to the road before they die in fiery crash, but at this moment it'd totally be worth it.

* * *

He spots Rachel in the last row. She's with the rest of the glee club, well except for the popular ones, but she's the first one he spots because she's laughing and smiling and she looks totally awesome when she's that happy.

And he thinks that it's really cool that even though they were mad at each other before and that he was totally right and she was totally wrong that she's here supporting him. If it were Quinn that he had told off she wouldn't have talked to him for a week, at least, even after he'd apologized. But Rachel like _respects_ his opinion or something and it makes him feel like he's not a total idiot sometimes.

The club is waiting for him in the parking lot afterwards and they tease him for his tuxedo and his dancing. Well mainly his dancing… they tease him _a lot_ for his dancing and he's starting to feel really bad about himself until Rachel smiles and tells him that he had some moves that would make Dakota Stanley regret losing his talents. He's not sure if she's making fun of him too, but the way she grins makes him feel better.

They all change their focus to mocking Mr. Schue, but as their parents trickle out of the meeting, it's eventually only him and Rachel left in the parking lot.

"Did you need a ride home?" He offers.

She shrugs. "No I'm just waiting for my dads to come out. They have lots of ideas for this year's school budget."

"Cool. I can wait with you if you want."

They sit on the steps in front of the school and talk about what songs they should sing to showcase Mr. Schue's R&B dance talents and talk about Mr. Ryerson 's love for Josh Groban and when she hears that Josh Groban was there she nearly dies. She asks a million questions about him and Finn answers all of them with a shrug. They fall silent for a moment until Finn asks.

"So… who's Josh Groban?"

* * *

She thinks they're going to break up. In fact she's convinced. They're fighting more than usual and sometimes in the girl's room she can hear Quinn crying in one of the stalls. It's not that she's happy that Quinn is suffering (well maybe she finds a little happiness in the fact that the girl who has tortured her since the third grade is miserable) she just think it's for the best if they're not together anymore.

One afternoon after glee rehearsal he asks her for help on his English paper. "Definitely!" She answers in an embarrassingly loud voice.

She helps him use a thesaurus so that his essay includes a few more four syllable words because she thinks it will add some pizzazz. Eventually she's helping him review important dates for his history exam, making flashcards of articles of clothing for Spanish class, and explaining to him what a cosine is.

She thinks it's really great that he feels compelled to improve his grades but she can't help but notice how sad he seems.

"Thanks for all the help," he says one afternoon. "You make everything seem so easy without making me feel like an idiot for not understanding it."

"I'm happy to help," she says floating on air.

"It's just there's a lot of junk I'm going through right now and between football and girls and glee and being popular, it's hard to keep up."

She knows she should feel a little offended but she can't help it, he's just so dreamy. "We're friends," she says. "I'll always be there for you."

She decides not to quit glee even though Mr. Schue's trying to ruin her career. She's almost positive that Finn is building up his confidence in glee club and academics, enough so to break away from his leech of a girlfriend. They're going to break up, she just knows it.

On Friday night she tags along with Mercedes, Tina, and Artie to support Kurt in his first game. She's excited to see Finn in action and knows in a few weeks when they're inevitably dating that she'll have to have some understanding of the game. They win and she waves excitedly hoping that he'll see her cheering for him. That he'll know she came for him. Instead he hurries over to Quinn on the sidelines and they smile and they kiss and they're happy.

She quits glee on Monday.

* * *

He doesn't know how to feel right now. She kissed him and he let her and now they're sitting in his car and she won't stop smiling or staring at him. In the back of his mind he thinks of Quinn and the baby and how he needs to be there for them but instead he's sitting in his car in front of Rachel's house listening to her babble on about darts and pool and ping pong and all the other games they could play on future dates.

"It's getting too cold for outdoor games, but that means we can do winter things like ice skating and snowball fights!"

He smiles because that sounds totally fun. He would kick Rachel's butt in a snowball fight and she'd look really cute in a knit cap and mittens. But then he remembers he's supposed to be thinking about Quinn and the baby. She'll be bigger in the winter and will probably want him to sit around the house bringing her pickles or whatever pregnant people eat.

"Maybe you can show me how to throw a football next time. I've never played before."

"Yeah," he nods.

She looks at him with those huge brown eyes of hers and he feels his chest tighten.

"I had a really good time tonight."

He thinks that maybe they could be together. She's really cute and they always have a great time together and she thinks he's totally awesome, which makes him feel really good about himself. Everyone is so down on him all the time. Quinn, his mom, his teachers, the football team… the only time he ever feels like he's a good person is when he's with her. Maybe they could be together. Like he would take care of the baby but Quinn wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore. Rachel would. She'd be a cool stepmom. She'd bake the baby cookies and sing songs to it when it wouldn't sleep. Quinn would probably just yell at the baby all the time but Rachel would be understanding.

So he kisses her. He leans over the driver's console and kisses her. Not like before when he was caught off guard and using her. This time he means it.

The next day at school she slaps him in the face. He realizes then she's better off without him. He'd only ever bring her down.

* * *

She sees him sleeping on one of the couches in the library. It's fourth period and she knows he's missing Spanish class right now but since Mr. Schue knows about his situation, is more forgiving towards his absence.

Rachel turns her attention back to her sheet music she has spread across a table. She has her iPod in hand and places it on shuffle hoping that when one song starts playing in her ear another song will pop off the sheet music in perfect harmony.

After an exhausting 30 minutes of this exercise she reaches for the thermos of espresso that's packed in her backpack. Across the room Finn is still napping. Fourth period is about to end and it doesn't look like he'll be awake for fifth. She looks back at her thermos and sighs.

Finn stirs and elicits a series of sighs and groans that she can't help but find incredibly adorable. "Here," she says pushing a steaming cup of espresso into his hand. "You need this more than I do."

He blinks a few times, startled into wake. "What?"

"I know you're currently the enemy, but if you don't wake up in the next 10 minutes you're going to miss a very important math lecture. I sat through it during second period and if you miss the first derivation you'll be lost for the rest of the semester."

He smirks. "Thanks. School makes me really tired."

"Have the whole thing," she insists. "I don't need it. I'm still high off endorphins from my morning workout."

"Cool." She catches his eyes scan up and down her body and his smile spreads. She presses her lips together. She knows she should be offended that he's so obviously objectifying her, but it also makes her heart race. Like she's walking on sunshine.

Jackpot.

* * *

After Spanish class he sees the scrap of paper left where she was sitting. She's left it and she doesn't even care. She doesn't care about him at all.

He shows the scrap of paper to Rachel after glee rehearsal. Part of him feels guilty for doing it because of what Quinn said about cheating on her. It's not like he wants to cheat on Quinn. He just doesn't have anyone else to talk to and Rachel's the only person who seems to care about how _he's_ feeling.

"Maybe Quinn's right." Rachel says. That's not what he wanted to hear. "Maybe it's best if you don't get too attached."

"I feel so helpless though. I feel l can't give her anything. Like I can't give her a home or a family or a good life, but at least I can give her a name, you know?"

She takes his hand into hers and it feels so nice. There's this intimacy they share that he's never felt with Quinn. He's starting to feel guilty again.

"I think your intentions are good, but I think the name's just too unique. Not to say it's a bad name, I just think it will be a burden to her. With your talents and Quinn's gorgeous looks, she'll stand out too much. If she has an incredible name like _Drizzle_ her peers would probably resent her. I mean look at me. Imagine if my name were Goldie Star Berry. Nobody would ever have the courage to talk to me."

He laughs because she _wishes_ her name were Golden Star. She's cocky enough because she's sort of named after Barbra Streisand but she calls that her "hidden talent." He squeezes her hand because she's made him feel so much better. "You really think I'm that talented? That it'll get like passed down through you know," he gestures towards his junk.

Her cheeks turn red because now she's looking at it and she quickly shakes her head. "I think your talent will propagate through generations."

It makes him happy that he can give his daughter something. Maybe she'll be super tall like him and will be a model or something. Not a Victoria's Secret model or anything, that would be wrong. One that only models parkas and other unrevealing clothes. But then he wonders what him and Rachel would name their baby because there isn't an ordinary enough name to hide how awesome Rachel's kids would be.

* * *

"So you were like… dating Puck?" He asks her the day he rejoins glee. Rehearsal has been cut short because Mr. Schuester realizes that it's likely he'll get hypothermia if he doesn't change out of the clothes from his mass slushie-ing. Everyone else takes the opportunity to have an afternoon off from rehearsal but Rachel understands the fact that Sectionals is only a few weeks away and they haven't ironed out their set list yet.

"Kind of, I guess." She says.

"Oh," is all he can respond with.

She's sitting at the piano spreading sheet music across the keys when he sits next to her. Like "no personal space" close to her.

"It's not like it was serious," she continues without looking up from her sheet music. "We just found we had more in common than we initially thought."

Finn flips through some pages and picks out a few song titles. "What kinds of things?"

_We're both sitting vigil waiting for you and Quinn to break up…_

"Our Jewish heritage is a strong connection."

It's silent for a moment and then Finn says, "But anybody could be Jewish if they wanted to, right? Like I could be one too if I took some tests and had one of those mitzvah things."

Her heart stops for a moment, like he's _thought_ about it before. "I guess," she shrugs like it's no big deal.

"So why'd you break up?"

_Because you weren't jealous… at all._

"He lacked the leadership I crave in a partner," she explains. She finally looks at him. "Look Finn, I know I was disappointed in your choice of popularity over glee club. But in a weird way, you did the right thing. I mean it's not right to have to give up on something you love just because someone tells you its wrong."

Even though Finn can be a bit slow, he seems to understand what she's saying and that makes her very nervous.

"Yeah," he agrees. He pulls out a piece of sheet music and smiles. "We should sing this one at Sectionals; you'd be really good on it."

It takes everything she has not to cry. She wants to go to Puck at this moment, slap him on the face and tell him that nothing is impossible. She and Finn will be together, she knows it.

* * *

She gets stuck in the doorway and he can't stop laughing. She keeps pushing but the wheel doesn't move and neither does she.

"Get out of your chair, I'll fix it," Finn says after a good solid minute of watching her fail.

"I can't," she says. "I've only been in the chair for 56 minutes today and if I get up now, I'll fall short of the requirement."

He thinks it's pretty awesome how motivated she is about these types of things. "So you're going to sit in the doorway till the final bell?" He asks.

"Guess I'll have to," she shrugs.

"And miss both Economics _and_ History class today?"

"It's for the team."

He tips her out of her chair. "That's just crazy," he reasons, carrying the chair back into the choir room.

She crosses her arms over her chest with a huff. "Fine," she says. He thinks she's really cute when she's angry.

He tries to get her wheel loose but it won't budge so he begins to hit it. Sometimes he gets really frustrated with Quinn and the baby and the way Puck is suddenly around all the time and how Puck is saying he's not doing good enough taking care of _his_ family. Now he's kicking the wheel and about ready to toss the chair across the room.

"Hey, calm down," Rachel says, breaking him from his moment of rage.

"Sorry," he says uneasily. "I'm just kind of angry all the time now."

"Is it the baby," she asks. Her voice is so soft and gentle and for the first time it doesn't feel like he's being attacked.

Finally he gets the wheel free. "Quinn and me are just fighting a lot because we owe money for her medical bills and I can't afford it." He looks the wheel over. "And now Puck's on my ass about not doing good enough like it's any of _his_ business."

"Maybe he likes her," Rachel says out of nowhere.

"What?"

Suddenly she can't look at him. "Nothing," she says. But the seed has been planted.

"You're always there for me when I need you," she then says. "So I guess you can do some things right."

He grins. At least somebody appreciates him.

* * *

"So I guess the ballad assignment is over," Finn says after rehearsal has ended. "But did we ever figure out who was singing for Sectionals?"

Rachel giggles as she pulls her backpack over her shoulder. "I'm not sure."

"I guess the assignment did some good. I mean my mom knows about the baby now, Quinn got kicked out of her house, and I'm pretty sure at any moment her father may pop out of nowhere like in a horror movie and brutally kill me, but it's nice not to have so many secrets anymore."

She frowns. So much has happened to him this week and she feels guilty because she was too focused on her crush on Mr. Schue. She feels so selfish. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay. This was something I had to do on my own… or with Kurt, I guess."

They fall into step as they exit the choir room and she can't help but feel jealous that _Kurt_ was the one to be there for Finn this week. If she were there she'd give him much better advice for facing Quinn's father, or at least pick out a better song that that Paul Anka monstrosity.

"I really missed you this week," he says.

Her heart stops. "Really?"

"Yeah," he shrugs. "When I was telling the Fabray's the truth I couldn't stop but think how awesome you would have been telling Mr. Fabray off for kicking Quinn out of the house."

"I can be sort of abrasive sometimes," she frowns.

"I think it's cool though. That you have your beliefs and you stick to them no matter what. Sure you're a little loud about it sometimes, but at least it comes from a good place."

"You really think that?" She asks.

"Yeah."

Maybe Mr. Schuester was right. Maybe there was a guy out there for her.

* * *

He can't stop picturing Rachel in a bikini. He thought that after the whole Grease thing that he had seen the light. That Quinn was who he wanted to be with. She was carrying his baby and she was true to herself and she'd actually been kind of nice to him ever since she moved in. But when Rachel looks at him, while they're all singing on stage, he can't fight that feeling in his chest.

And now that he's seen so much of Rachel's boobs he can't stop thinking about them. Sure she wears super skimpy skirts but her sweaters are always up to her chin and she's the only person on earth who wears every button in place. Now when he looks at her he sees her boobs up at her chin and he imagines what it'd be like to touch them… licking them would be kind of cool too.

He realizes it then. When the last time he's even thought about getting into Quinn's pants? She's pregnant with his kid and he's never even seen her naked. She's barely showing and people have sex till right before the baby is born sometimes, which he thinks is kind of gross, but the baby is barely there at this point, they could totally do it if they wanted to. But he never even thinks of that.

He wonders when he stopped wanting to have sex with Quinn Fabray and only want to be a friend to her. He also wonders if Rachel has something to do with it because he's pretty sure it happened before there was a baby involved.

* * *

After Mr. Schuester is forced to step down she feels defeated. She can't help but blame herself for the whole debacle, but she really thought the commercial would help unify the club. Also she needed something to put on her resume. This only makes her feel guilty again because she's essentially ruined the club's chances of winning Sectionals. Glee club is over. Her high school career is over. Her friendship with Finn is over.

He shows up Saturday morning, after Mr. Schuester has stepped down from the show director chair. He says something about being a team leader and making it up to her for the yearbook photo before he holds up some poster board and art supplies with an idea to raise glee morale.

"So first we have to win Sectionals," Finn says slowly trying to work through the math. "And if we win that we get to go to Regionals."

Rachel puts the final touches on her Sectionals Support sign with a gold star.

Finn sits on her bed trying to get the cap off her red and silver glitter pen and she cringes at the thought of him breaking it open all over her new comforter. She promised herself several weeks ago that she would never deny Finn access to her bed and she refuses to break this promise. Not even for glitter emergencies.

"Correct," she says still cringing until he safely removes the cap. "And the top two teams of each of the five regions moves on to Nationals."

"That's easy," he says confidently. "We can totally do that."

"Yeah," she agrees. "I think we can."

* * *

"I'm not even sure it's true… it's only a theory."

His first instinct is to be relieved. How awful is that? He finds out that his pregnant girlfriend cheated on him and the baby isn't his and he feels relieved. Like, "Oh, hey, cool. I wanted to break up with you anyway." But they had bonded. Even though they weren't epically in love or anything, things had changed between them after the whole baby thing started. They depended on each other. They were finally friends.

"The only way you'd know for sure is from a test."

Next he feels stupid… like really stupid. Four whole months and he couldn't put the pieces together. Couldn't think to ask someone… anyone, hey where do babies come from? The hot tub? His mom is going to be giving him awkwardly detailed sex lectures for a week because of this, he just knows it. He wonders how many weeks he can avoid the locker room because he'll never hear the end of it from the guys.

"You're just too trusting," she says. "I should know. I too suffer from believing in people too much. Where are you going?"

Then he feels angry. He throws his books across the hall, he punches his locker, he finds Puck and punches his face, and then he kicks chairs over. It doesn't make him feel any better.

Finally he just feels sad. His daughter, the little girl he had spent months loving more than anything was never there. They weren't going to keep her anyway, he reminds himself. It doesn't help.

He goes home. He throws all her stuff down the hall. Closes the door behind him and cries. He doesn't stop crying till Saturday.

After they've won Sectionals, he kisses Rachel. He sees Quinn watching him sadly and he remembers how much she hates Rachel and he feels selfish and sad and angry so he kisses Rachel.

He doesn't think it'll be a big deal. They've kissed before, a couple times actually. If anything she'll be disappointed in him for using her like that, but he'll apologize, she'll understand, and they'll be friends again. She's the only friend he has now, she'll understand.

He doesn't realize what he's getting himself into.


	2. Season 1, Part 2

**Thank you muchly for the feedback, it is **_**always**_** appreciated! Continuation of the first season, this chapter covers the back 9 episodes. I put **_**Funk**_** and **_**Theatricality **_**in the correct order (not the order the episodes aired) because it made more sense for my narrative… you'll see. Next part won't come until at least after Tuesday (when the last episode of the segment airs). It's going to be difficult to keep up with the characterization since certain characters *cough* Finn *cough* can't seem to stay very consistent. **

Between the Lines

He thinks they might be dating.

Monday morning his phone rings at 6:30AM. "I need a ride to school," her voice chirps on the other end. She says more things, explains that one of her dads' cars is broken and that her street is too narrow for the bus, but he's already drifted back to sleep with the phone pressed to his ear.

He's about to turn into McKinley's parking lot when his phone rings again. Oops. When he finally makes it to her house, 20 minutes late, he sees two cars in the driveway, but he doesn't think anything of it. Rachel slips into the passenger door kisses him on the cheek and hands him a coffee in one of those disposable Starbuck's cup like thingies with a triangle shaped blueberry muffin. She calls it a scone but he knows better.

At school she follows him to his locker and hands him a day planner. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do with it, but he smiles at her and thanks her before tucking it into his locker. She's talking to him about book readings and local theater performances and other stuff but he's not listening.

Ever since he found out about the whole baby thing, Rachel's different. She's all intense and crazy again and he's not sure if he likes it.

Rachel's still talking, her lips moving a mile a minute. "I mean now that you're not seeing anyone, we can spend more time together, right?"

He looks at her. Her hair is parted on the side today and she looks really pretty. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles. Across the hall he sees that Quinn is watching.

On Tuesday he remembers to pick Rachel up.

It's on Wednesday when Finn realizes that he and Rachel are in a relationship. She calls him after school every night and asks him what he plans on wearing the next day. The following morning he notices that her knee socks always match his shirt. She tucks herself under his arm when they're walking down the hall and on Thursday he sees that his picture is tapped in her locker door.

Quinn notices too. She throws a slushie in Rachel's face before the homeroom bell when everyone is in the hallway to see. Finn helps wipe the ice off her cheeks and then checks to make sure Quinn is watching before he drops his lettermen jacket across her shoulders. She wears the jacket everyday and it's so big on her that it drops past the hem of her skirt.

Still, Finn doesn't show up to their dates. Most of the time it's an accident and he doesn't even know that they're planned, but sometimes he misses them on purpose. She calls him afterwards and most of the time he apologizes, but sometimes he doesn't even answer the phone. In the morning she confronts him and he kisses her. Usually the hallways are crowded, when everyone can see. He assumes that's what she wants. She wants everyone to know that they're a couple and that they make out and do "couple like" things. People only ever use him anyway.

It's not that he doesn't like Rachel. She cheers him up and brings him cookies before basketball games. She's also a pretty good kisser. He's just not ready to get serious with someone, he guesses. He thinks maybe he has trust issues but isn't sure why.

Rachel must notice too because one day she asks him for the truth. "Are you over Quinn Fabray?"

He hates himself when she asks him, but then he answers truthfully. "Of course." He's over Quinn; he's been over her for a long time, since before the baby even. It was habit that kept them together.

It's the baby that he can't get off his mind. He spent months agonizing over her. Sleepless nights haunted by what would happen to her. Sometimes he imagined the future. Ten years down the line when he was older and ready to be a father he would find her and would be a part of her life. He would take Drizzle to the park and push her on a swing and spoil her with ice cream. Sometimes Rachel was there too. She would braid her hair and teach her lullabies and show tunes.

But that's all gone now, and nobody seems to care.

He tries to tell Rachel this but it's like she's not even listening. She gets caught in the magic of the relationship and is too busy planning their lunch dates to care. He thinks he needs to be alone for a while but he likes her too much to break up with her. So he just let's things continue. Maybe it's a mistake.

* * *

He _really_ liked her. She's haunted by it.

Maybe she was a bit insensitive to his feelings, but she wanted to be with him so badly and when the opportunity presented itself, she took it. She blames Hugh Grant entirely for her over the top antics.

But he was a jerk. She deserves better. She deserves the perfect male lead. The one she's been craving since glee club was first assembled. Finn was an interesting interpretation for the role, but Jesse St. James is the epitome of a male lead. And he appreciates her talents. And he wants to be with her.

But he _really_ liked her.

Her phone buzzes and she know its Jesse, probably trying to work his way into her bedroom again. She really likes Jesse. They share the same passion and drive and dreams. He's absolutely perfect for her. But when they talk about music and Broadway, Jesse's answers are always something like "obviously" or "well, duh!" or "if it were any other way it would be a travesty to the stage!" And she appreciates his support, she does, but she misses that dumbstruck face staring back at her telling her he has no idea what she's talking about.

They watched _Chicago_ together once, her and Finn. It was before he knew the truth about the baby and before she made a fool of herself trying to trap him in a relationship. Mr. Schue had assigned some songs with more of a jazz beat and Finn had asked her for help on his performance. She considered showing him _Cabaret_, since they had rehearsed scenes for it, but she knew better. At the end of the film he simply said, "That was awesome." Something about being there with him when he discovered it for the first time made her feel special.

He's waiting for the right person.

She feels compelled to perform the song _Somewhere (A Place for Us)_ from _West Side Story _so she posts it on MySpace because she's been falling behind.

Jesse will think the song is about them and their love. He'd be wrong.

* * *

He spots him during the pep assembly and he panics. It's quiet in the choir room and he hopes he can hang low for a while.

"You're hiding from someone."

She knows him too well. Or at least she's used to people hiding from her. That makes more sense because he used to hide from her all the time. Only when she was Crazy Rachel, never when she was Awesome Rachel. He never sees Rachel as crazy anymore though. She's like all awesome all the time. Well, except when she's with Jesse St. Jerk.

"Is this because of me and Jesse?" She demands. "Because if we're making you uncomfortable, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to deal with it."

"No," he flinches because it hurts. But he deserves it. "Look. Do you ever feel guilty about your mom?"

She seems to relax for the first time in forever. For the past few weeks she's either been trying to force them into a relationship or trying to bite his head off or trying to rub her new boyfriend in his face. "What?"

"Do you ever feel guilty? For like… replacing her?"

"I still don't understand."

Finn sighs because he realizes this is something he needs to get off his chest. He's always keeping things bottled up because he doesn't know how to just… express it.

"My mom is dating Kurt's dad," he finally says. "And he wants to take me to football games and play catch and I feel so bad because I never got to do any of those things with my dad," his voice starts to break because he's crying and it's so embarrassing. "You know?"

She holds his hand in hers just like she used to. Back when they were friends and everything was cool between them. "It's different," she assures him. "Your father will always be with you but my mother was never there."

"So you don't even think of her?"

"Why should I? She didn't want to be a part of my life and I feel like looking for her would be cheating both me and my dads." She shakes her head because she realizes she's making it about herself and he thinks it's really cool that she's taking the time to care about him. "Don't deprive yourself from happiness, from a father because he can't be there, he probably wouldn't want that."

"That's what my mom says. That like I didn't know him and that I can't know what he would have wanted." He feels down. Like really down. Like if he thinks about this anymore he might start crying in front of her, which would be totally embarrassing.

"You want your mom to be happy right?" She places her hand on his cheek and his eyes burn because he's so mad at himself for everything right now. For how he treated Rachel, for how he treated his mom, for how he's treating Burt.

"Of course."

"Then give Mr. Hummel a chance."

So he goes home and when he sees Burt he doesn't get mad or freak out, he listens to him. He can't change what's happened to his father, but he can't punish him and his mom for it either.

He can't keep on punishing himself all the time.

* * *

She realizes that she can be a little extreme at times. When she was ranked so low on the Glist she was very disappointed in herself but more importantly she was ready to campaign for the placing she rightly deserved. It's her burden… her drive to be the best at everything, her ambition that steamrolls over anything in its path. She never intended to hurt anybody. It was just a harmless music video… to make everyone think she had three boyfriends. Sure she knew that Noah wouldn't understand the "art" of her film but would never take it personally. And as a fellow star on the rise she was sure that Jesse would be unhappy by his reduced role but was sure that by showing him the edited version that only featured him on lead and in extreme close up (of his good side no less) that all would be forgiven. She never expected Finn to be so hurt though. She had only asked him to help her with a project as her co-captain.

It's not like Finn had a right to complain. Just two weeks ago he had broken up with _her _so that he could date two cheerleaders, all for status no less. There was absolutely no reason why she should feel guilty at all.

But when he asks her how she could do this to him, she feels awful. So when she sees him at his locker she decides that she's going to apologize.

"Look I'm sorry," he says before she can take a breath to speak. "I kind of jumped down your throat in there and I guess I might have overreacted."

She narrows her eyes. "You did," she agrees.

"It's just when you asked me to do that stupid video…" she gasps because how dare he! "I mean your really cool music video," _better_, "I thought that maybe it meant that you liked me best. That you wanted me to be your boyfriend."

"But I'm with Jesse," she says. "You know that."

"I know," he says sadly.

She hates that he does this to her. It's not her fault that he broke up with her, they'd still be together if he hadn't and she wouldn't have even had to make that stupid video... she means artistic tribuite.

"I guess I owe you an apology too then," she says in spite of herself because she still doesn't think she's done anything wrong. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression."

"Yeah," he says, but then he begins shaking his head and closing his eyes like he's thinking really hard. Her pulse begins to race because Finn rarely puts his foot down. When he gets all determined and motivated she can't help but find it… kind of sexy.

"Listen, Rachel, you know I like you, okay? I can't just pretend that I don't." He takes a step towards her and she has to close her eyes because she knows what's coming next. "I don't think we can be friends anymore."

She has to blink a few more times to regain her composure and she lifts her chin high because she doesn't need him anyway. "Fine."

* * *

He promised that he was going to get some distance from her but he can't help it. When he sees her sulking in the corner of the choir room insisting she needs medical attention but her dads are unable to get her to a physician until Friday, he thinks _whatever, it's Wednesday_, but then he remembers this is Rachel. So he offers to drive her because he's stuck on level twelve of _Halo_ anyway and is getting really frustrated at getting vaporized every five seconds.

But as the week goes on he realizes that Rachel needs someone in her corner. She needs a friend and he's the only person in school dumb enough to do it. So he decides to be her friend again and he tries to make her feel better. As usual, he messes up though.

He's getting good at playing the piano. Not like playing chords or different parts at once, but at like tinkering with the notes until they sound like songs he recognizes.

"Hey," Rachel says sitting on the bench beside him.

"Hey," he can't help but smile. "Sorry for taking you to Sean's yesterday. I told my mom about it and she said it was like really insensitive and put you in an uncomfortable situation or something."

"No," she shakes he head. "I needed a kick in the butt and Sean's inspiring story really made me think about how lucky I am. Here I thought I had nothing left to live for because I couldn't sing anymore. People have only ever wanted me for my voice," she says sadly and he thinks that sucks because he thinks Rachel is really awesome even when she isn't singing. He wishes that he knew how to write poetry or something or knew how to play the piano as good as Billy Joel so he could serenade her some more.

"I'd still be your friend," is all he can come up with though.

She smiles at him with that big smile that lights up her eyes. "I appreciate that."

It get's quiet for a while because that's what friendly people do… sit in awkward silence.

"What were you playing?" She finally asks.

"I was just playing around," he says shyly because he doesn't really know how to play or if the song is in the right key or anything.

"Can I listen?"

So he starts hitting the keys that he had memorized before and he hits the wrong note a couple of times but finally he finds the right pitch.

"One love, one life, one need in the night."

It feels like it's been forever since he's heard that voice and he can't help but grin. "Your voice is back!"

"Yeah, I guess it is." She still seems sad though and he can't imagine why. She's got her voice back, that's all she's ever wanted.

He wants to cheer her up so he just starts babbling, "That's Sean's favorite song. We used to listen to it all the time when he was helping me on my math homework but I was always too busy using my calculator to write boobs…"

"I have an idea," she says suddenly with her Rachel Berry Crazy Eyes fully restored.

So he drives her to Sean's house with the strict orders to return in exactly 45 minutes and when he returns Sean's mother tells him how Rachel is giving him voice lessons.

He writes this down on a sheet of paper titled "Reasons Why Rachel Berry is Awesome" because the next time she asks, he's going to have the words to prove it.

* * *

She feels good. Jesse was back and her boyfriend and helping her through a monumental experience in her life. Sure she never thought much of her birth mother before. She had two loving parents and her family was complete. But when Finn had asked her about her mom, she couldn't get it off of her mind.

Jesse had been surprisingly supportive through the whole ordeal, even insisting that off-Broadway performers were just as credible as the real deal when a lead indicated that the _understudy_ for Grizabella in the Columbus Theatre performance of _Cats_ was registered in the surrogate database. She had felt so completely disheartened by the news.

She knows what she's doing though, and she's going to find her. Even at the risk of being the progeny of a fry cook, or worse a sports enthusiast.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He asks her while she's busy reorganizing her school books in her locker.

"What?" She asks, pausing to admire the new photograph of Jesse hanging on the door.

"Your binder says 'The Search for Momma Berry' on the cover, and bellow that are a bunch of pictures of people I don't recognize," he explains.

She looks down at her book and sighs. Obviously he would never appreciate the talents of Bernadette Peters. "It's not a big deal," she reasons.

"But you said you didn't want to meet her."

"Look, Finn. That conversation we had a few weeks ago really got me thinking. I have a mother who's out there and if I didn't try reaching out to her before it's too late, I would never forgive myself. You have Mr. Hummel now to bond with over what kind of grunts to use when you cheer for various sporting events or what kind of junk food you want to clog your arteries with, and I'm really happy for you. But there are some things that a girl just really needs a mother for. Like how to get a boy to like you," she sees him frown and drop his head. "Or how to deal with mean girls or a broken heart."

"You could talk to my mom if you want; she's pretty cool and is always complaining that she doesn't have anyone to talk to about girl stuff like crafts or jerk-ass guys or healthcare." He shakes his head. "I just think you might be making a mistake."

"I appreciate your concern, but you don't have to worry about me." She slams her locker shut and stomps away in her best Rachel Berry fashion.

But when her phone buzzes with Jesse 's message: _After school two tickets of admission into the Rachel Barbra Berry Museum_. She can't help but think that maybe she's making a mistake.

* * *

He's marching around in the Quickie Mart like a man on a mission. Sure Mr. Schue told him and the other guys to ignore what Vocal Adrenaline did to Rachel, but there's only so much singing you can do to stomp the itch he has to kick a chair directly into Jesse's face. He's halfway to the slushy machine when he runs into Rachel forcing a fourth bag of Cheetos into her overflowing basket.

"Hey," he says and he narrows his eyes because she's already opened a bag of Twizzlers and has one hanging out the side of her mouth and it's totally depressing to see Rachel Berry like this.

She pulls the Twizzler out of her mouth and starts staring at him like _he's_ done something wrong. "You can start gloating now if you want."

He pauses because he's not sure what gloating means. Like maybe it could be a goat that glows in the dark _or_ it could be oats that you glue together… and then hurl at Jackass St J-wads face. He wonders whether they sell Elmer's Glue here. ..

"Huh?"

"You were right," she says. He's happy that he's right about something for once, but bummed that she is so sad because of it. "Jesse was just using me this whole time even after everyone had warned me." She shuts her eyes tightly and lifts her chin in that really dramatic Rachel way. "I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore after what Jesse did to the club."

"What?"

"You said if I let Jesse in and he endangered the group that we wouldn't be friends anymore."

"Yeah," he agrees. But he only said that because he was jealous that she picked Jesse over him to be her boyfriend. "We're a team, Rach we're not going to let them get away with this."

She kisses his cheek. She smells like cherries and chocolate and potato chips and even though she usually smells like soap and flowers he thinks every version of Rachel is just awesome. He wants to hold her and kiss her and prove to her that he would be like ten times better as a boyfriend than Jesse Satan James ever was.

"Mr. Schue's right though. There's no use in playing into Vocal Adrenaline's juvenile games. We're going to wow them with our talent." He nods but he's only half listening because he sees that the orange flavored slushie is getting really low. "Promise me you won't get in to anymore trouble, okay?"

He sees a freshman get a cup and reach for the orange handle. "Sure," he says placing a hand on her cheek, but he's on a mission so he offers her one last smile and then pushes past her.

He grabs the largest cup he can find, gently nudges the freshman away from the machine and fills the cup to the very top.

"Please tell me that's a dye job."

Finn nearly spills the cup into the driver's seat when he spots Puck sitting in the backseat. They're not friends anymore, but drastic times call for drastic measures. A prank war has commenced on him and Puck are the only soldiers good enough for battle.

"One full tube of orange food coloring, orange slushie for taste, and a dollop of self tanner," Finn says proudly because it's like the best idea they've ever had. "He's going to look like an Oompah Loompah."

They drive to Carmel and get there just before midnight when they know rehearsal will be getting out. All the Range Rovers pull out one by one, but he keeps his eyes trained on the door until he spots Jesse with his stupid face and his stupid hair and how could Rachel ever see anything in this loser.

He doesn't go through with it though. He stands in Jesse's face holds the slushie back but he can't go through with it. Rachel's right they don't need to play these stupid games with Vocal Adrenaline. They're going to win because they're better. Besides Jesse is a bigger idiot than he is, letting Rachel get away like that. He actually feels kind of bad for him. So he dumps the slushie on the concrete parking lot, smiles proudly and says, "I'm going to make Rachel forget you ever existed."

Puck thinks it's lame that Finn doesn't man up and make Jesse's face all orange, but he doesn't care because he's going to win Rachel back and he's going to make her proud. Besides, Puck pees on Jesse's door handle, which makes the trip totally worth it.

* * *

After Shelby leaves she cries in the choir room. She doesn't understand why everyone that she cares about leaves her. First Finn, then Jesse, and now her own mother? She's toxic.

She's startled though when she sees Finn sitting quietly in the corner, just staring at the floor. "Sorry," she says quickly wiping away the tears because Rachel Berry doesn't cry unless it's called for in the script. "I didn't realize anyone else was here."

"Me either," he says.

"What are you still doing here? Basketball practice let out over three hours ago."

"I don't have anywhere to go."

She doesn't know how to feel; to hear that he could say _that_ to Kurt and expect people to be okay with it. She blames the entertainment industry for being so lenient in male dominant films with such language causing youth to use hurtful words like that so freely because "everybody is doing it." More importantly, she knows that Finn is better than that.

"I just felt that nobody was listening to me," Finn says. "Like I wasn't even there. My mom told me that she's never been so disappointed in me and that I was selfish for ruining our family. But I just felt trapped." He finally meets her gaze. "Do you think that Kurt maybe, might be like… into me? I'm not crazy for thinking that, right?"

_Of course he is._

"What makes you say that?" She asks nervously. But then she tells him the truth. How Kurt has always had a misguided crush and how he sabotaged her by dressing her like a sad clown hooker on purpose because he wanted Finn for himself. She tells him he should be flattered really, but she can tell that Finn is just kind of uncomfortable about the whole thing. "You can't just hide from your problems, Finn. You have to talk to your mother. Make her hear you out."

"What are you doing here so late?" He finally asks.

"My moth… Ms. Corchran and I sang a duet," she explains. "Sort of a closure thing."

"This really sucks," he suddenly says standing from his chair. "So much junk is going on with you and with me and we don't even know about it. It's like we're not even friends anymore."

She frowns because he's right. This time last year they didn't even know one another, but over the course of the year she can't imagine how she would have survived without him. Before they met, she was selfish and self centered. She would have driven everyone away from glee club with her overbearing personality.

"You're my dearest friend, Finn," she says. "You'll always be."

He kisses her then and it's unlike any time before. There are no hurdles in their path. No girlfriends, or babies, or doubts, or rival club's male divas. It's just Rachel and Finn. She wonders if this is what it's like to be in love.

But nobody ever really cares about her and she refuses to play the fool again. So she walks away.

* * *

He's not sure where they stand. He kissed her and then she kissed him back. That means they're dating, right? Sure he kissed her over a week ago and she ran away so fast a Rachel shaped cloud appeared in his arms, but then _she_ kissed _him_, so that like evens out.

Maybe he shouldn't have told her he loved her. It's not like he didn't mean it. But maybe he was coming on too strong. He never thought that in relation to Rachel Berry that _he_ would ever be the one to come on too strong. This is the girl who set up a picnic in the auditorium complete with cocktails, when they were still only _kind of_ friends.

He thinks maybe it was also a bad idea to go to the hospital for Quinn and the baby. It's not like he planned on going. And when he looked at Rachel and questioned, "Are you?" She shook her head and told him to go. That was probably a bad idea. He definitely should not have gone.

In a weird way it kind of gave him closure though. Like even though the baby isn't his and never was his, he still cares about her and wants to make sure she's okay. Quinn even offers to let him come see her and hold her if he wants but he's not _that_ okay with the situation. He never actually sees the baby either, he just waits in the lobby with Mr. Schue and the other kids until they hear the news that she's okay and not some weird lizard baby.

Maybe that's why she doesn't stand next to him when the results are announced, because she's made at him for going to the hospital. Or maybe she's just avoiding him because she's too embarrassed for him, since he was a total idiot and told her he loved her even though they're not together or anything.

But then on the bus, even though there are like 20 empty seats, she sits next to him and she holds his hand. He knows he should really be bummed because they lost and the club is over, but he smiles the whole way home.

He's not going to mess things up this time.


	3. Season 2, Part 1

**Thank you again for the feedback. The season 2 episodes were a little challenging because the character consistency has been a little off… anyway, see you in June.**

Between the Lines

"Do you think Vocal Adrenaline ever thought about recruiting me?" She asks. "I mean they went through such great lengths to obtain Sunshine."

"Of course they did," he reasons. "They probably couldn't though because it would be like a reach of contract or something for Shelby."

"Breach ," she corrects quietly.

"Whatever," he shrugs. "Sunshine is good, but you're way better."

She frowns. "But you said we needed her."

"Not as much as we need you."

She smiles in that way that she's too embarrassed to look at him. "It's probably for the best," she decides. "I mean if Sunshine stayed at McKinley, where would she sit at lunch?"

Finn's confused. She'd probably sit at the same table she sat at before.

"If she wanted to eat with the glee kids, there wouldn't be enough room at the table because there are only six seats. And with Artie's wheelchair there's no room for other chairs."

Finn still doesn't see the point and he doesn't get why she's making such a big deal about this until he realizes that she's using one of those metaphor things. He smiles because he thinks it's totally cool when he thinks like a smart person. "You could sit in my lap," he offers.

This doesn't cheer her up. "But what happens if we're not together anymore?"

Now she's just being silly because they're together and they just told each other that they weren't going to break up. But then he really gets to thinking about it. If they weren't together he'd probably just sit with the popular kids, like he did before they started dating and she insisted that they sit with the glee kids. Well he wouldn't sit with the cool kids _now_ because he's not on the football team anymore, but he could probably sit with Puck if he wanted to because he totally owes him.

This makes him think about Rachel though. She only started sitting with Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie at lunch when they started dating. Before that she sat with Jesse Patron Saint of Douches and before that he can't remember ever seeing her in the lunchroom. It all makes sense then. Rachel's not afraid of Sunshine being a better singer than her. She's afraid that the club won't need her anymore. Like how he didn't need her when he had Santana and Brittany and like how Shelby didn't need her when she got Quinn and Puck's baby.

"I'd just stand then," he decides. "That way it'll be easier to look down your shirt while you're eating your Tofurkey sandwich." _Crap._ He realizes that he said the second part out loud. "Because we'd still be friends." He takes her hand in his. "You're like my _best_ friend."

"Thanks, Finn."

The next day at school he can't help but notice that (for the first time in the history of ever) the top few buttons of her polo shirt are left out of place and that when Rachel leans over to take a bite from her sandwich she presses her elbows together so he can sneak a glance down her shirt. He doesn't know how anybody thinks they could replace Rachel Berry because she's like totally awesome.

* * *

She counts the number of days they've been together. 137. She knows it's crazy but she can't help it. She knows that he and Quinn dated for 8 months... she's not sure how many days exactly, but she feels if she can make it to 9 months then that means she's more important to him. It's becoming an obsession and she can't stop, but she wants to mean something to him. She wants him to look back at high school and not think about football or all his cheerleader girlfriends. She wants him to think of her and the glee club and how significant it was. She doesn't want to just be that crazy chick he dated for a while.

That's why on the afternoon that he's put back on the team, she panics. He doesn't take the bait to leave the team and after she asks him to, she realizes that it was probably the wrong approach. She can't bring Finn down to her level; she has to rise to his.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," he says when she suggests they go to a football party that weekend.

"It's your world, Finn; I'm only trying to be a part of it."

She's never been to a high school party before. Well she had gone to a few birthday parties (family mostly), and over the summer she, Finn, and the rest of the original glee kids would watch musicals and plan set lists. But she's never been to a party that has a keg before.

That doesn't stop her from snatching the red cup that Finn pours for himself or stop her from drinking it quickly, much to Finn's surprise when he mutters, "Is beer even vegan?" She's not sure; she's never had to consider it before really. She knows she thinks it tastes terrible… like sweaty feet, but that doesn't stop her from pouring another cup.

This turns out to be a bad idea, of course, and one bathroom break later, even under strict orders not to go anywhere because he'll be back in 20 seconds, she finds herself wandering the house party alone.

"You look ridiculous, you know that. Right?"

Before she can figure out what's going on, she's being ushered over to a couch with a glass of water forced into her face. "God knows why I would be willing to help you."

"You're just trying to shuffle me away so you can get your hooks back into Finn," she manages to mumble.

Quinn can't help but groan. "You are pathetic. Are you seriously going to let yourself get all insecure and start making dumb decisions? Look at yourself; you can't even sit up on your own!" Rachel shuts her eyes and uses all her might to sit up straight. _Damn _she was right. "Take it from me. They're not worth it. No man is worth it! I've got a baby out there to prove it."

"That's easy for you to say," Rachel says bitingly. "You're hot and popular and could have any guy you wanted. All you'd have to do is snap your fingers and Finn would come running."

Quinn laughs at her. _Laughs_ at her. "Are you kidding me? Finn checked out of our relationship the first time he danced on stage to that stupid Journey song with _you._" She throws her hands up and Rachel can't help but find it cruel how much she is spinning around the room. "Listen. I'm going to do you one favor. As much as I hate to admit it, I owe you one. You were unnecessarily nice to me last year and I wouldn't have made it through my whole pregnancy without the glee club's support." She sighs heavily. "Tomorrow at school. Come find me."

She doesn't remember the rest of the night. She remembers Finn finding her and throwing her over his shoulder. She remembers portions of the car ride home, mostly Finn yelling at himself for going to that stupid party. And she remembers him tip toeing quietly up the stairs of her house to tuck her into bed. But she can't remember if he told her he loved her. Maybe that's the problem.

* * *

Rachel's waiting and he's totally cool with it… so long as she doesn't turn up pregnant. Sure, he was kind of surprised that she didn't want to do it… or anything really… especially since she had done it with Jesse right away, but if it was anything like _his_ first time with Santana, he can understand.

When they first started dating she wouldn't let him in her room, which was weird because he used to go in there all the time. And one time when his hand accidentally passed by her boobs (in front of her dads no less) she didn't talk to him for like three days. It was then that she told him that she wasn't ready to be "intimate" and she said it all shy and terrified like he was going to break up with her for not putting out. It's not like he's Puck or something.

At first he's bummed (because he's a dude) but then he's kind of relieved. Rachel was doing it with Jesse for months and he only had sex with Santana that one time and after they did it she said "is that it?" like she was all bored or something. To be honest he's kind of insecure about this kind of stuff. He's kind of big (and not necessarily in the good way) and he doesn't have much…rhythm. He can't help but think if they were to ever actually do it that she would think Jesse was way better.

But after a few months, waiting gets hard… like literally. He's not sure how Sting holds it in for seven hours because usually after fifteen minutes he starts to worry there might be some serious damage to the plumbing. He starts thinking that something might be wrong with him. Not like a problem with his… problem, but a problem with him. Why girls don't _want_ him.

But then Rachel lets him touch her and it's _awesome._

Finn's been thinking a lot about what Ms. Pillsbury said; that when you talk to girls about important stuff and let them be right, it totally gets them off. So he starts disagreements with her on purpose just to let her be right, like playing with fire.

When he tells her that a Barbra medley for their first dance at their wedding would be awesome, she lets him grab her boobs: head on.

When he calls the three month Glee Club Itinerary that solely consisted of her performing various solos "inspired," she takes her top off.

And when he tells her that it's totally cool if they raise their kids vegan, she lets him slip his fingers down her underwear.

* * *

Rachel perches herself on the bed so that their shoulders are touching, "The only offensive performance I can think of would be for me to stand silently while you take lead."

"What?"

"I know. It's too gruesome to imagine. Let's not go there."

Finn presses his lips together. "How about a rap song? Like '99 Problems' or 'Superman' or something. Those are pretty offensive."

Rachel gasps, "Yeah, to women. We're trying to be offensive, Finn. Not tasteless."

He puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer. "What about sex?" He asks all casual and innocent but when he turns his head to look at her his eyes are anything but innocent.

Her breath catches in her throat. It's getting harder to resist him. "Pretty much every song in existence has some sort of sexual undertones." He just smiles at her and it's obvious that he has no idea what she's talking about.

"Well we could sing a song about sex," he reasons, "and then we can totally do it."

She gasps. He flinches. Finn's verbal filter is surprisingly worse than hers… if that were even possible.

Her cheeks are warm and she knows she's blushing. "Sounds like a quick way to get expelled."

He's laughing nervously, but his arm is still around her and his body is so close to hers. "It'd be totally worth it."

She wants to do it. She really does, but she's terrified. Would he be able to tell if she were a virgin? She's read that something… happens, but is that something he would… notice? Would he know that she was lying about the whole Jesse thing? That she was a total loser who wasn't ready for sex? Like some celibate tease or something.

"Sex and religion!" She exclaims, effectively changing the subject. "There's nothing more offensive than sex _and_ religion… I think there's a song for that."

* * *

There was a petition to get him to transfer. _Transfer._ Now he knows how Rachel feels, when people have an irrational annoyance towards her. Is he really that awful?

He lifts up his shirt, looking at the reflection in the mirror. Maybe he should start using bronzer or rub himself in baby oil like Sam does. He clenches his stomach and leans forward to pronounce his abs. "One, two, three… four?" He counts. Four packs are just as hot as six packs, right?

"What are you doing?"

Finn drops his shirt quickly. "Nothing."

"Why'd you miss rehearsal today?" Rachel demands. "Did you march around school in your underwear, or is that just some vicious rumor?"

"What? No!" He lies.

"Finn. I'm all for over the top, show stopping displays and protests generally when they involve me and there are loving tears shed but that's beside the point…I think you're being ridiculous."

"Is it that crazy that I feel bad about myself?" Finn whines. So he's being immature, but given the circumstances he thinks he has the right to. "Some guy puked in his locker!"

"I think you're hot!" She tells him like it'll make a difference.

"No you don't!" He snaps. "You're my girlfriend, and you don't even want to have sex with me. You barely even want to touch me!"

She doesn't say anything. It's never a good sign when Rachel is speechless. Her eyes grow dark and he's suddenly terrified. She approaches him like one of those cheetahs on the Discovery Channel that is about to eat an ostrich.

"What are you doing?" He says, because oh God, she's going to murder him.

She doesn't kill him though. She pulls his shirt off over his head, which is a struggle because she's kind of short and then she kisses the side of his chest where she told him his heart was.

Oh God. They're going to do it, he realizes just as his pants become impossibly tight. That is until she unbuttons them.

"I want you," she murmurs and her breath is so freaking hot against his chest that he can't stand it.

"Oh God," he says out loud this time. He hits the mailman with a semi-truck before muttering, "I have to go."

He locks himself in the bathroom and thinks he's in the clear until she knocks on the door. "Are you okay?" She demands.

He peaks beneath the waistband of his boxer shorts and sees that there has been some irreversible damage. "I think you should go," he calls against the door. "I've got to do my homework."

Crap. He sucks at lying.

* * *

Finn lays on her bed pretending to do his homework, but she knows he's probably just drawing elaborate doodles of some comic book super hero or video game villain or whatever teenage boys waste their fantasies on.

"Do you think of Coach Bieste?"

He breaks his pencil.

"What?"

"When we're kissing… do you ever think of Coach Bieste to cool off?"

He shakes his head frantically. "No. Never."

"Oh," she says because it's kind of disappointing that he doesn't need any help resisting her.

Surprisingly Finn catches on to her uncertainty because he replies with, "I have my own methods."

She takes this moment to stroke her ego, a moment she will never pass up. "Like what?"

"I hit a mailman with my car once," he says.

She glares.

"Is that why you sometimes run away when we're kissing... because of Coach Bieste or the mailman or whatever?"

He swallows thickly and for some reason it makes her feel… empowered. "Sometimes."

"Oh," she says quietly. A smile starts to form across her lips. Was that why he ran away last week when she stripped him to his underwear? Or all those times last summer when he would jump into the lake even though he was still wearing his shoes? Or the first time he kissed her in the auditorium? "I didn't realize I had that affect on you."

He shrugs. "Well, yeah."

"Girls have _feelings_ too you know," she says off handedly. It's not like she doesn't picture various Broadway shows closing before she has a chance to make a name in the starring role.

"You have a strange way of showing it," he mumbles.

She catches herself staring at his crotch.

"Just because I'm not ready to… you know. Doesn't mean there aren't other things that we could do."

She can hear his breath go uneven and it makes her feel… powerful. "Like what?" He chokes out.

"I could touch you." She says carefully.

He frowns. "You touch me all the time, Rachel."

She approaches him and sinks down onto the bed beside him. "I can touch you like _you _do," she says walking her fingers up his thigh.

"Oh," he says as her intentions finally become clear to him. His entire body tightens until his shoulders are touching his ears. "Oh!" He repeats in a quick bark.

She smirks.

_Mailman._

* * *

He can't get the sight of her legs off his mind. That's all he could look at when she was signing that song with that hot substitute, even when there were guns and explosions and stuff. Her legs looked awesome.

And so when they get back to her house he can't wait a second longer. He pulls her tight against him and kisses her until their legs collapse and their kissing on the floor and it's like the coolest and hottest thing they've ever done.

But then she stops it and then she tells him. She's a virgin, which is great because now she won't have anything to compare it to. She'll think it's really good because she won't know what it's supposed to be like. But then she says it: "We can save it for each other."

He flinches.

"Awesome!"

He has to tell her.

He only did it one time. It's not like he'd come off as some suave expert. That's what Puck would tell him, "Who cares, you'll suck no matter what, not like it's going to make a difference."

He has to tell her.

It's so unfair though because he didn't even like it. He regretted it like the second it happened and he's not sure how it could even count. It was over before it began, she told him that kissing was lame, and he didn't even take his shirt off. How can it count if he didn't even get his shirt off?

He shakes his head. He has to tell her.

No matter what he says though, she's going to break up with him. She is just so not going to be cool with this.

He has to tell her.

He doesn't tell her.

* * *

There's something about weddings that are so magical. She takes in every detail and makes notes for how her wedding to Finn will be when they're 24 or when her publicist says she needs her name in the papers.

Finn is amazing. So loving and brave and caring and giving. She feels dizzy just staring at him tonight.

She's not sure what she's waiting for anymore. He loves her, they're in love, they told each other so just that afternoon. He's not going to leave her, he's not going to humiliate her, they're together and they're happy and they love each other. She doesn't want to wait anymore. She can't wait a second longer. She has to show him how much she loves him.

"Maybe 25 is too long to wait," she murmurs while they dance to a slow song. All he has to do is sway slowly, nothing too challenging and he's perfect at it. He's perfect at everything in her eyes.

"What?"

She stops dancing and looks into his eyes, "I'm ready." She says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Tonight."

"What, no," he steps away from her. "We can't."

This was not the reaction she expected. "Why not?"

"It's my mother's wedding day, we can't do that."

"Doesn't it make it more romantic?" She asks. "Weddings are so beautiful and memorable and she won't even notice that you're missing."

The color has drained from his face and he looks panicked. She doesn't get it. He should be doing well rehearsed back flips or throwing a ticker tape parade.

"I don't have a…" he begins.

"I stole one from Brittany's purse; she had an industrial sized box in there."

"Um…" he begins to sway, but he's not dancing anymore. Suddenly he lurches forward and pukes right in front of her feet.

She shrieks. "Are you drunk?" She bitingly whispers.

"Um, yeah," he says. "I'm totally wasted."

She frowns, "That's funny. I didn't even see you drinking."

"Me neither," he shrugs, "must not have been sparkling cider after all." He stumbles all grandly, like she would if she were putting on a performance. She wonders if he's faking but there's no way he could be. She offered him sex after all. "I think I'm too gone to… you know."

But she was ready.

* * *

He feels like he's been hit by a mail truck. The wind gets knocked out of his lungs and he tries to breathe again but he can't. She's going to break up with him. He's just waiting for her to say it. It's going to happen she's going to do it. And it makes him mad.

What right does she have to break up with him? He didn't do anything _wrong._ Sure he lied to her but it's not like he wanted to. He slept with Santana to make her jealous but when she told him that she slept with Jesse it didn't seem worth it. It hurt too much.

"Tell her you only slept with her because _she_ was bragging about doing the Douche," Puck tells him. "You've still got all the power."

He groans. She knows he loves her. He tells her all the time. Why is she making such a big deal of this? Who cares how hot Santana is? It's not like she's his girlfriend. He's dating Rachel. He wants to date Rachel. Why doesn't she get this?

Santana skips by him and winks at him. He almost laughs. Why would he ever want to date Santana? He thinks to himself as he watches her pass. She's awful and she's mean and she's not Rachel.

He's going to fix this; he's going to make things work. He needs Rachel. She's the only person who makes him feel good about himself and who has never let him down. Everybody always uses him for his popularity or his singing or his insurance policy, but not Rachel, she's totally awesome and she loves him more than anything.

But then she kisses Puck.

There aren't enough chairs in the school for him to kick over.

His first instinct is to find Santana. To drive her over to Rachel's house and bang the crap out of her on Rachel's bed. But he knows that won't help. He's tried that before and it didn't make him feel better. It made him feel hallow and empty. He wishes he felt that way right now.

All he feels now is this tightness in his chest. Could this be a heart attack? Should he see a doctor? He thinks throwing himself off a bridge is a better cure.

Never again. He's never doing this again.

* * *

She rearranges the cookies on the platter. There's no one left in Mr. Schuester's kitchen except for her and Finn and she thinks she may explode if she doesn't say anything.

"Are those your famous sugar cookies?" He asks allowing her to exhale the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Um, yeah, we always prepare a batch for the holidays." She extends the tray and smiles sweetly. "Want one?"

He nods and picks one off the platter. "Cool."

"Look, I know it's a little early but I've already made my New Year's resolution," she says shyly. She wants to look at him but knows she'll start crying if she does.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to give you space," she explains. "I've been so focused on making things right between us that I haven't respected your feelings. My resolution is to be more mindful and to give you time."

He grins and it's the first time she's seen him happy in what seems like forever (even though it's only been two weeks). "Thanks."

"I'm not giving up on us though," she says quietly.

He takes a second cookie off the tray and eats it in one bite. "Good," he says before grabbing the last bowl of popcorn to take out to the living room.

As the club gathers around Mr. Schuester's Christmas tree she catches his eye for a brief moment. He grins at her and every instinct she has tells her to pounce him and to make him love her again. But she doesn't. She lets the moment pass. She gives him time.

And for the first time in two weeks she knows that things will be okay.


	4. Season 2, Part 2

**Blah, blah, blah, I suck. Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I've been pretty busy with real life stuff but have recently stumbled into some down time. Also let's face it: the second half of season 2 was kind of rough, so trying to find some positives in the Finn/Rachel relationship whiel Finn was being a douche-nozzle and Rachel was being a codependent harpy was kind of difficult. This chapter covers the first 6 episodes (Superbowl through Original Song) and I'll cover the second half shortly.**

* * *

_Between the Lines_**  
**

She gets to practice early because she knows he'll be the first one there. Finn's not usually a punctual person, but for things he cares about like glee and football he wants to set an example.

He's already on the field stretching and she takes a moment to admire how good his butt looks in football pants before reminding herself that friends don't objectify other friends no matter how head over heels they are for them.

He catches sight of her and grins and her heart beats so fast she thinks she may die. He hasn't looked at her that way since before they broke up and she hadn't realized how much she missed _that look_.

"Hey," he says.

She nearly trips over her own two feet because of a simple greeting. "Hey," she chirps back before holding up the protein bar she had forgotten she was clutching in her hands. She offers to share because she read online – after several hours of researching all things football—that it's a perfect energy boost during a long practice.

He doesn't take it though.

"You really don't have to do this Rachel," he tells her and she can't decide if it's because he's worried about her safety or because she's not giving him enough space.

"I want to," she says too quickly and silently chastises herself for it. "I mean for the team. We've worked so hard on the halftime show; it'd be a shame if we couldn't perform it."

"Yeah," he nods in the way he does when he's not completely on board with an idea and she wonders if she's being insensitive towards him. She wonders when he became such a mystery to her because she was convinced that she knew him better than anyone.

"And I know how important this game is to you," she adds and he drops his head and she realizes that it's too much. "And the rest of the guys on the team," she adds to be on the safe side. "The glee club is always in danger of being ineligible of competing due to member requirements so it was the least we could do."

"Cool," he says and grins again. "That's really cool of you," he elaborates. "And the rest of the girls," he adds because maybe this is as hard on him as it is on her.

"The only problem is I don't know the first thing about football," she explains, "or soccer for that matter. They seem to be synonymous in other parts of the world but I've yet to see the correlation."

She knows he hasn't a clue of what she's talking about but he gives her an earnest chuckle and rubs his temple and says, "Yeah, they call soccer football over there." He seems to wait for a long moment, it could only be a second but it feels like hours to her, before he offers to go over some basic rules and plays.

He shows her how to hold a football but her hands are so small she can't wrap her fingers around it and she drops it. He ribs her as he picks the ball up and helps place it in her hand again, but this time he wraps his fingers around her wrist when he demonstrates and her skin screams beneath his touch like a drug addict on a bender and he stands so closely to her that she can feel his body heat even though it's freezing outside and his smile is so bright when the ball finally balances in her palm.

"We may need to get you a smaller ball," he teases. "I may still have one from the peewees."

She weakly shoves him and her hand lingers on his chest longer than it should before she catcher herself and quickly pulls it away. She wonders why they didn't do fun things like this when they were dating. If maybe she were more interested in things that he liked, that maybe things would have worked out between them.

No, she reminds herself. If she hadn't kissed Puck things would have worked. Or would it have? Everything is so broken now she doesn't even know.

The rest of the team shows up and she tries to keep close to Mercedes because she _wants_ to respect his space. But she can't help but notice the glances that he occasionally throws her way before quickly darting his eyes away, but more importantly she can't help but notice the glances that he throws in the direction of a certain Cheerio practicing across the field.

* * *

He's turning into _that_ guy. The one that thinks with his co—ego instead of his head, or his heart for that matter. But for the first time since joining the glee club he feels comfortable in his own skin again. Being the football stud, dating the hottest girl in school, that's what he's good at. It's dreaming big and taking chances that burns him.

The hallway is empty in one of those eerie sorts of ways and the silence is so loud that he can hear his own guilt. Sam's been pretty cool to him in the past, besides his blatant attempts at overthrowing him as McKinley's Top Dog, and he can't help but think how much it totally sucks to be humiliated by getting cheated on. But in a way he's doing Sam a favor, if he's dating Quinn for power then he'll learn his place and if he's in it for love then he's saving him the heart ache.

Hell, maybe Finn should be thanking Puck for all the unsolicited relationship consultations he'd been receiving.

She comes darting out of the music room and right into his path causing him to stumble a few paces back. Suddenly he feels ashamed of himself. _You're better than this_, he can hear her say. But he's not and she isn't either.

Rachel makes small talk, all meek and nervous like she's going to do or say something that'll piss him off. It drives him crazy how they act around each other now, like people at dinner parties who only talk about the weather and sports and politics and stuff because anything personal will just get weird real fast.

"What are you still doing here?" She asks. "School let out an hour ago and there's no glee rehearsal today."

He feels completely busted and disgusted with himself. "Chemistry project," he says simply. "What about you?"

"I was working on my glee assignment," she explains and when he catches a glimpse of the song title on her sheet music, which reads _I Will Always Love You_, they both simultaneously frown.

"Oh," he says like he's skating on dangerous ice. "Who are you going to sing to?"

She gets that cute deer in headlights look, the one where she shakes her head a lot and shrugs her shoulders and keeps on tripping over the same word. "_What_, actually. It's to my favorite puppy dog handbag. The strap broke this morning and I had to throw it out. It was devastating."

He knows she's lying and he doesn't know how he feels about it. He's done _feeling _those types of things anyway. "Sounds like it."

She rocks on her heels, tipping her chin, her eyes all bright. "What about you? What song are you singing?"

"Don't know," he shrugs, "haven't really thought about it."

"Oh."

"I don't really believe in all that stuff anyway," he says but then regrets it because of the way she flinches at it.

She nods a few times and he can tell she's about to cry and he really hates that he makes her feel this way, but at the same time he _really_ hates the way he feels because of what she did to him. "Well I've got to go," she says quickly and turns to leave.

"Wait," he calls out. "If you really loved that doggy purse or whatever, you wouldn't just throw it away right?"

She pauses at the edge of the hallway but doesn't turn to face him. "Of course not."

He frowns. That's what he thought.

* * *

He's changed.

At first she tries to ignore it. To overlook the bad and only see the good, but everyone can see he's different.

It happens overnight. He stops talking to the other glee kids (the uncool ones at least), doesn't even bat an eyelash when Azimio shoves someone into a locker, and cuts half his classes to pump iron in the gym. He's essentially transformed into Noah Puckerman. The non-charming version. And when she overhears the other glee girls gossiping about Quinn, Finn and a gumball she realizes that the transformation is complete.

She slams his locker door shut nearly catching his fingers in the door. How dare he shame her for weeks with his false sense of superiority? A gumball? After breaking up with her for being honest about kissing someone else, he's playing into Quinn's lying schemes and it's driving her crazy.

Of course it doesn't help that she's insanely jealous. Why is what Quinn did so forgivable? And more importantly why is she so desperate for his approval.

"I heard Quinn's story," she snarls and he physically recoils even though he's got a hundred pounds on her.

"Wait? What?" He plays dumb.

"Why are you doing this? Are you doing it to hurt me?" Her breath catches in her throat and she fears what his response will be. She wants this to be about her. If it is, then at least it means that what they had was real.

He drops his gaze and moves to reopen his locker. "No, of course not."

She doesn't believe him and even if she did she _can't_ believe him. "I kissed Puck in a moment of weakness and now you'll barely even talk to me. Quinn? She slept with Puck and _lied_ to you about it for months!" She takes a moment to lower her voice. "What you're doing now to Sam is no different. You see that don't you?"

He has to see it. He's not the type who lies and manipulates to feel better about his self. That's her amo and she's always admired his ability to always wear his heart on his sleeve and look out for others.

"If you're building your relationship on a foundation of lies, you're only going to get hurt again."

He looks at her for the briefest moment before turning back to his locker. "I know what I'm doing," he says dismissively.

"Who are you?"

He slams his locker shut causing her to jump back. "Who are you?" He counters harshly. Dropping his gaze, he zips up his backpack and swings it over his shoulder. "Look Rachel, this you, it's not you at all. Don't you see that? You used to be so driven and focused and you didn't care about what others thought of you, no matter how annoying it was at times. But most importantly, you used to stand up for what you believed in." He frowns and shrugs a shoulder. "Stop worrying about me so much and start worrying about yourself."

She fumes as she watches him turn and walk away. She doesn't need Finn Hudson, not when he's going to be so ungrateful towards her reaching out for him.

No. Rachel Berry has dreams that are bigger than him, and they are ready to make a comeback.

* * *

When he first hears about Rachel Berry's house party, he thinks going might send her the wrong idea.

He still likes her. That's not exactly something a guy can just turn off. And things have been so great between them ever since they started working on her song writing. But at the same time he still feels this pull towards Quinn.

With Quinn all he needs to do to make her happy is win football games and campaign for school dances and always remember that she drinks _diet_ soda. Those are tasks he can handle. It's a world he can handle and a world that makes him feel safe, even with all the cheating and backstabbing because he's got that game down now.

With Rachel it was all about doing the right thing and striving to reach his full potential and taking chances and stuff. It was scary and when he messed up along the way she'd kick him where it hurt the most.

When Kurt prods him for his plans on Friday night and Finn lets slip about Rachel's party, Kurt cringes then shakes his head adamantly. "You're leading her on," he says simply.

Finn feels relieved that for once the voice inside his head has a little support, but then Kurt's face lights up and he says. "I know! Blaine and I will go with you! To help and ease the tension."

Finn doesn't think that's such a good idea, and states such but is quickly swayed when Kurt contemplates asking Carole what exactly an _Asstastic Voyage_ is and why Finn spends so much time researching it at three in the morning.

He's kind of glad that Kurt comes though because he's like the master deflector, especially when it comes to Rachel (even though they're sort of friends now) but ten minutes into the party, Kurt is off auditioning for the role of Blaine's crutch and Finn finds Rachel draped all over him.

He likes it at first because he hasn't seen her this happy in months and because he loves the feel of her soft curls tickling his neck and the way her warm breath dances across his cheek when she laughs and then he sees Quinn dancing against Puck and he wonders how that's okay. Everything's so twisted and screwed up and incestuous between him and Rachel and Puck and Quinn and now Sam and Santana too (who may or may not be having sex in front of everyone on the couch) and he hates it.

His eyes land on Quinn and Puck again and he doesn't feel anything. He likes that. So he plucks Rachel off of him and he pushes her away.

After Blaine and Rachel kiss, Kurt decides he wants to be Finn's supportive wing man again (which, great, how about 30 minutes too late?) and they spend the rest of the night rolling their sober eyes with contempt at all the drunken shenanigans before responsibly carting all the glee kids home.

Blaine bops his head like he's in _The Night at the Roxbury's_ to every song on the radio while Quinn goes off on some angry feminist rants and Mercedes and Tina cackle like hyenas until their shrieks resemble white noise and Mike crawls under the third row bench and falls asleep and they pass his house like three times before they notice he's there. Finn goes to carry Artie up the stairs but Brittany scoops him up like some freakishly strong Amazonian princess before dashing up the stairs in a scantily clad streak and Sam demonstrates to everyone in Kurt's Navigator how he can fit his whole fist in his mouth all while Santana gropes herself with his free hand and hysterically begs for him to touch her.

On their third trip Kurt faces him with wide, disgruntled eyes before handing Finn an Excedrin because he knows that the headache they're sharing now is worse than any hangover imaginable.

It's nearly 2AM when they finally have Rachel's house cleared, which is only two hours past curfew, but his mom and Burt aren't exactly the types to stay up and wait by the door (Burt has a hard enough time staying awake through a Reds game) and Finn's just about got all the lights in the house off when he hears Rachel's voice from upstairs. Kurt leans against the door jam and shakes his head because he knows what Finn's about to do next.

"Go ahead and take Blaine home," he says and nods his head up the stairs. "I'm going to go check on Rachel, I don't think she should be alone tonight."

Kurt places his hands on his hips. "I'm not sure Mom and Dad will approve."

It dawns on Finn that it would probably be more appropriate for Kurt to stay behind, since he and Rachel have slumber parties all the time, but there's this selfish part of him that wants to be the one to take care of her and when he catches that same look in Kurt's eye, he can tell that Kurt wants to be that person for Blaine. So Kurt just gives him a sly nod and says, "I'll cover for you," before slipping out the front door.

He finds Rachel in her bathroom, starring into the vanity mirror completely perplexed as she sings through the track list of _Rent_. He recognizes that one because the songs aren't as Show Tuney as the other Broadway musicals she had made him watch and he secretly really digs the music.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks carefully.

She looks at him through the mirror and gasps. "Yeah," she says quickly. "Yes. Yep. Of course." Her eyes narrow and she drops her gaze to the sink.

"Are you sure?" He prods.

She traces her fingers along the edge of the sink. "Yeah, I'm just. Organizing."

"Are you sure you're not going to throw up or something?" He asks bluntly. Because if she's going to throw up, he really hopes she's not going to do it in the sink because he knows he's going to be the one to have to clean it up and he's really not sure if he's ready to be _that_ close to her.

She lifts her chin and smooths her hands over her awful green dress. "I'm fine, I promise," she assures him. "I'll be fine."

She takes a few clean steps, just enough to pass by him before she stumbles the rest of the way to her bed. "It's dizzy in here," she tells him like it's some sort of conspiracy.

It's the first time he's been in her bedroom since they've broken up. In fact he's still pretty sure that Puck has been the last boy in her bed (well besides Kurt) and his hand curls into a fist even though he knows he has no right to.

The thought doesn't seem to cross her mind though, because she just flops around on the bed until she gets comfortable and then pats the bed beside her beckoning him over. He doesn't take the bait though, opting for her desk chair instead and she sort of makes this "humph" sound before falling back against her pillow.

"You hate me, don't you," she pouts.

He sighs because he could never hate her, no matter how hard he tries.

"I made a fool out of myself tonight, didn't I?"

He rolls the chair towards the edge of her bed. "Don't say that," Finn says because he's seen a lot of drunk people tonight and all of them had their own embarrassing quirks.

"I just..." she trails off and the glow of the moon lights her face enough to reveal her frown. "Ever since the fireworks," she explains carefully. "I just need to know that what we had was real. That it mattered."

"It was something special," he confirms because she's drunk and she won't remember this conversation anyway and his heart has been screaming to tell her ever since she confronted him in the nurse's office.

She reaches for his hand and he lets her take it even though he knows that he shouldn't as a slow smile spreads across her lips. She falls asleep then with her hand tucked in his and doesn't let go. Part of him never wants her to.

He calls Quinn the next day because he knows he has to.

* * *

She joins celibacy club because she hears _Quinn_ has campaigned the club back into existence. There she said it.

She knows something is going on with Finn. She sees things. The way they exchange little glances across the choir room or the way their hands brush past each other's in the hall in a way that tangles their fingers for the briefest of moments or the way they whisper intimately in history class with their lips so kissably close.

She doesn't want it to be true.

The other glee kids join celibacy club. First one by one then two by two and eventually everyone is there. Everyone but Finn (and Mike and Tina, but for obvious reasons).

She doesn't know how to decipher this information. The first time celibacy club ruled the school, his participation was a big flashing "Property of Quinn Fabray" sign, so his lack of renewed membership card could only mean that he's flying single, she decides.

But what if it's not? What if his relationship with Quinn has become so sordid and wanton that he can't even pretend to be chaste? What if Quinn has given him everything she never had the courage to do?

The curiosity is killing her, and the more she grills Quinn for answers, the more reluctant she is for the truth. She could just ask Finn. She knows he'd tell her the truth or some cryptic version where he dodges the question so many times that the answer becomes obvious. But she doesn't want the confirmation that he's moved on. She certainly hasn't.

"Are you having sex with Quinn?" She asks against her better judgment one afternoon after she corners him in the hall.

He blinks rapidly for a few seconds, which is not a good sign.

"What? No." He says quickly.

She falls into step with him. "I've just noticed that you haven't joined the celibacy club. Everyone else has."

"I just don't feel like lying about that stuff anymore," he shrugs.

"That you're having sex," she fills in.

He rolls his eyes and stops abruptly, turning to face her. "That I don't want to."

"With Quinn," she adds.

"Rachel," he says with a frown. "Please don't do this."

"All of this is just for show. Just like the last time," she says through gritted teeth. "She's using the celibate image to push her reputation and she's using you as a stepping stool to get to the top, but the second some guy with bigger biceps and a better social resume comes along she's going to drop you faster than she dropped Puck and Sam combined."

He just drops his gaze and shakes his head.

"All she's ever going to see with you is a golden ticket."

"As opposed to what?" He counters. "Everyone is just using the other for something, right?" He shrugs and she wants to slap him, "At least she's honest about it."

Rachel doesn't stop him when he turns on his heels and stalks away.

* * *

She drops the sheet music into his lap before taking a quick step back.

"What's this?" He asks, only grazing the first few line with little familiarity.

"The song that's going to win us Regionals," she says with that Rachel Berry confidence that he really loves.

He reads the title _Get It Right_ and his first thought is _about damn time._ "Great!" He says enthusiastically. "Do you want me to get Brad and the band so that you can sing it?" He know they must be around here somewhere. Probably waiting outside the door, that's where they usually are.

"No," she dismisses. "I'm not ready to sing it yet. Right now I just want you to read the words." She takes a careful step forward and brushes her bangs from her eyes. "To _really_ read them."

He gestures towards the open chair beside him and is surprised when she doesn't move to sit. "Alone," she says. "My soul bearing journey hasn't quite reached its pinnacle yet."

Finn offers her a small grin before she backs out of the choir room and begins to read the lyrics. He can hear her voice in his head singing the words even though he doesn't know the tune and by the time he reads the last verse he know what he has to do.

The glee club has been awful to Rachel and he's just sat back and watched. He feels like garbage. Yes she's selfish, and some of her motivations are only for her own benefit, but most of the time she has the club's best interest at heart. Like the way she stood by Quinn during her pregnancy or reached out to Kurt because he was being a jerk to him or wanting the club to write their own music, Rachel doesn't get any credit for the things she does right.

Mr. Schue comes into the choir room with the final draft of their other song and is startled to see Finn there.

"Mr. Schue, we have to do something about this," he says holding up Rachel's composition.

So they go to the Party Shop across town and the moment his eyes fall on the giant gold star trophy he knows how he's going to make things right.

It's not until he hears her sing the song at Regionals that he realizes the song is about him. She basically tells him such and when she actually sings the words he can literally feel it.

It makes him think about the last time they were on stage. When things were so strained because of Santana and Puck but this time he doesn't see the bad.

Rachel loves him. And yeah she gets too passionate about things and it all blows up in her face, but she never honestly goes out to hurt people. She just makes mistakes, and sure, he does too sometimes, and maybe that's okay.

He can feel Quinn watching him though. Like not consciously or anything, it's just she's staring at him so hard he can feel her burning holes through his skull.

Quinn makes mistakes too and for some reason he's already realized this and accepted it. He's not sure why it feels so easy to move forward with Quinn while he feels the need to hold Rachel at arm's length. At first he thought it was because he could never get over what Rachel did to him. Because she's better than that.

But now he's not so sure.


	5. Season 2, Part 3

**Thank you, thank you for all the feedback! Reviews are awesome, always were always will be. As I said, here is the second part (shortly) as promised. Now I'm moving on to _Separate Ways_, I swear. Anyway, see y'all for the next hiatus.**

* * *

Between the Lines

After the benefit concert she finds herself alone to clear off the stage. The rest of the group is busy fawning over Mercedes' performance and planning a celebratory dessert at Breadstix where they'll demand encores from Mercedes and Tina to an audience who will be more appreciative. At least those are the types of cheers she hears as she remains isolated in the wings.

Not that she feels under appreciated or neglected or anything (not at this exact moment anyway). Mercedes even excitedly embraces her and encourages her to come along, but Rachel isn't exactly in the celebrating type of mood. Instead she just feels resigned.

She's stacking the last few chairs when she hears crumpling down from the house. She turns to look out at the audience slowly. "Hello?"

Finn pops his head up from between a few rows and climbs to his feet where he cradles a handful of taffy wrappers. "Oh, hey," he says with a grin. "I didn't realize anyone else was still here."

"Same here," she says, mirroring his smile.

He shrugs. "Those hecklers are mean but they sure can eat a lot of taffy."

"For a fundraiser we lost an awful lot of money. With all the rental fees and free taffy, Patches the homeless guy will be able to afford a plane ticket to New York before we can."

"Yeah," he chuckles in agreement. "Hey, I thought you were supposed to sing the closing number. I was really looking forward to hearing you perform."

She nods slowly and can feel the frown lines crease across her face. "It just didn't seem right. Mercedes obviously brought the house down. In fact I'm surprised the stage is still standing."

"I can see what you're doing," he says tilting his head knowingly. "And it's really cool of you. I mean I know how hard it is for you to share your spotlight."

"I know," she says and she's sort of taken aback by it because she's always taken issue with sharing the lead role in anything and usually is ruthless to maintain it. "I guess this is what it feels like to grow up. I used to think that being a star was the most important thing. But if you don't have anyone to share it with... then what's the point?"

"But you do," he assures her. And she knows he's right. She has Kurt now and her relationship with Mercedes has turned into something less tumultuous and more complimentary and come to think of it even Puckerman has had her back in more cases than not.

But then there's Finn.

They're friends now, she's sure of it, but things are still so strained. He's with Quinn and she's trying to accept that but she knows she never will. At the same time, since before Regionals he's been so supportive and friendly towards her and its not something she can ignore just because he doesn't want to be her boyfriend anymore.

"Where's Quinn," she suddenly spits out and knows the moment it rolls off her tongue that she's just unleashed a tidal wave of awkward.

He presses his lips together. "She had to run to the copy shop before it closed. She printed off like a million campaign posters or something."

"For prom?"

"Yeah," he nods tightly. "She's sort of... intense about it."

She busies herself by collecting sheet music from the stands. "Well you two are a lock to win. I mean who doesn't love a modern day Ken and Barbie!"

He makes a few irritated sounds. The ones that obviously play off as him reciting _if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all_ like a self help mantra in his head. He deposits the taffy wrappers into the garbage can in a blizzard of wax paper before cocking his head thoughtfully and turning his attentions back to her.

"You know, I've been thinking," he begins. "If you had a Twitter account like Sunshine, maybe this whole thing would have been a success."

She narrows her eyes. "How do you figure?"

"Well you're like way more talented than Sunshine," he shrugs and she can feel herself beaming. "So if you had a Twitter then you'd have way more followers, right?"

"In theory," she agrees.

"So the way I figure," he continues as he hops up onto the stage in two strides. Gathering up a few music stands he says, "If we started you on Twitter now, we'd have enough followers to do _two_ benefit concerts next year."

"I suppose," she says and has to jump back when he lunges towards her to sweep up the stands by her feet. "Then again if we _all_ had Twitter accounts, maybe we'd have enough followers for three shows!"

He looks at her for a long moment. The look he used to give her all the time when they were friends, long before romance screwed everything up. The look that makes her feel like she's flying.

"Yeah," he agrees with a grin.

The moment she gets home she rushes to her laptop and signs up on Twitter. Not five minutes go by before she gets her first notification:

_Finn Hudson is following you._

* * *

Finn digs through his closet, drawing various articles of clothing to his nose to decipher whether they're safe to be worn for the afternoon. He's buried in dirty laundry when he catches sight of Kurt standing outside his closet door.

"Finn Hudson in the closet, my dream come true," he says dryly.

Finn narrows his eyes because _hold up there, buddy_ and Kurt quickly breaks out in laughter. "Kidding," he says. "Too soon I guess," he mumbles under his breath before cocking his head curiously. "So what's with the closet redecoration. I've never seen you put so much thought into an ensemble before."

Finn picks a few tee shirts out of the pile, keeping them at arms length. "I'm looking for clothes that are red, white and blue."

"Flag day's in June," Kurt says perplexed, "and elementary school."

"Not for that," Finn rolls his eyes. "It's for this mall intervention Puck's organizing for Rachel. To get her to stop getting a nose job."

"And this is a patriotic affair why exactly?"

Finn purses his lips, "I'm not sure."

"So let me get this straight. _You_ and _Puckerman_ are leading the charge for Rachel to accept her physical appearance."

"Well yeah," he shrugs. "Well mainly Puck, because I'm with Quinn now and I'm already in hot water for calling Rachel beautiful in front of the whole glee club..."

"Whatever," Kurt silences him because he's totally on Rachel's side with the whole Quinn thing. "Sounds like a great idea! If you want Rachel to end up with a boob job and some butt implants!"

This draws Finn out of the conversation because Rachel's butt is awesome. But an even bigger version of Rachel's butt would be even more awesome. He furrows his brows because that sort of sends the wrong message with the whole self acceptance thing, there were at least natural methods for an ass enhancement. Like potato chips and ice cream and what did Kurt say about slushies that one time?

Kurt seems to recognize Finn's thought process because suddenly a look of horror crosses his face. "Oh God! I'm taking over this thing," he says turning on his heels. "I knew that stars and stripes vest I bought on clearance would be good for something."

"So wait, we're still going with the Fourth of July thing?" Finn asks as he follows after Kurt to his room.

_Fireworks. _He gets it now, causing him to flinch.

"Yes," Kurt confirms, "and that will be your's and Puck's _only_ contribution."

"But, but, flash mob!" Finn stutters sadly.

Kurt throws a long glance at him over his shoulder. "Okay. That too. But I'm choreographing. You've done enough damage with your extraneous limbs as it is this week."

"And Puck picked out a song already too," Finn adds. "This techno Barbra Streisand thing."

"Duck sauce?" Kurt says with a cocked brow. "Perhaps I underestimated you two."

Finn teasingly folds his arms over his chest. "So what exactly are you contributing then?"

"As her platonic gay best friend," he explains, "I'm going to say to her the words that your raging hormones render impossible without _other _implications_."_ Kurt gives Finn a _duh_ face and he can't help but shrug in agreement. "Also, name one fact about Barbra Streisand beside thinking she's Ben Stiller's mother."

Finn frowns. That could take a while.

"You did all you could," Kurt says placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But you can't be her hero all the time. Sometimes there are others who are better suited, and you know," he gives him a half grin, "maybe that's a good thing."

Finn mirrors Kurt's smile but can't lift his gaze from the floor. Maybe Kurt's right. Maybe he's so absorbed with remaining the most important person in Rachel's life that he's actually hurting her. Last year he was her only friend and it made him feel so good the way she depended on him and appreciated him. But maybe that's not healthy and maybe that's the reason why she's looking to get _Quinn's_ nose of all people.

So at the Barbra-vention he stays at the edge of the crowd and watches from a far as Puck and Kurt dance around Rachel and make her smile and laugh. It hurts that he can't be the one to help her, but at the same time he knows it's the right thing to do.

* * *

Rachel knows it's wrong. Planting the seed of doubt like that. But if Quinn is playing her usual relationship strategy, she's already grown bored of their white picket fence romance and is looking for a way to spice up her love life with a little old fashioned self sabotage.

Finn deserves better than that. Finn deserves her.

She folds her hands in her lap and swings her feet so that her ankles brush against the edge of his bedspread. His new bed is bigger now. More fitting for his 6-3 frame. She misses his twin sized bed though and the way she had to lay fully on top of him whenever they wanted to snuggle because that was the only way they fit.

He's pacing back and forth across his room, letting out a frustrated grunt occasionally or rubbing his finger against his temple. Kurt's not home, which is probably a good thing. He made a point to drop by Finn's room 45 minutes ago to inform them that he was spending the afternoon with Blaine. Or engaging in a torrid love affair with a wounded Artie, he hadn't decided yet. Finn had been sitting beside her on the bed at the time, so closely that the rough denim of his jeans had tickled her thigh and sent sparks up and down her spine. Kurt, of course, had taken the opportunity to acknowledged Rachel's presence and their proximity with a snide, "Funny how events can so easily be misconstrued and blown out of proportion. I wonder what the Muckracker would think of this little pow wow."

Finn had jumped to his feet and hadn't sat down since.

"Do you ever feel like a democrat?" Finn asks suddenly.

Rachel narrows her eyes. "Do you mean hypocrite?" Finn nods and she can only assume that his government teacher is Mr. Fields because he uses the two words rather synonymously.

"Yeah, I mean all this cheating stuff. Aren't we all kind of guilty?"

"Sort of," she agrees reluctantly.

"Me and Quinn, you and Puck, Puck and Quinn..." he trails off with his thoughts before looking back at her with a shrug. "You and me."

"That was different," she tries to dismiss but she knows she's lying, She's never classified their origins in such a distasteful light, she'd always preferred to file it under star crossed.

She scoots off the bed and places her hands on her hips. "Look. I'd hate to tell you I told you so, but I did. Quinn tries to portray this wholesome image with a false sense of superiority all to push her reputation, but deep down she's bored of that lifestyle. That's why she's constantly looking for ways to rebel."

He seems to consider this for a long moment and sinks down on the edge of the bed. "But what if maybe I'm jumping to all these conclusions because I want them to be true. Like I'm looking for excuses."

"You want to break up with Quinn," she fills in with an air of hope that's probably insensitive.

"Yes," he confirms. "No," he quickly amends. "I don't know." He drops his head in his hands in frustration.

She sets a gentle hand on his shoulder and sits down beside him. Maybe what they're doing is worse than whatever Quinn is up to. Because she wants to kiss him right now and she knows that if she did he wouldn't stop her.

"We should do another stakeout," she decides, jumping away and smoothing her hands over her skirt. "Help put your mind at ease."

He grins in agreement. This is not going to end well.

* * *

He hits Jesse in the parking lot. Hard.

In the gym it was just childish shoving, but when they break through the school doors and into the cool spring night, the adrenaline really gets to him. Jesse slips into his stupid red Camaro and Finn shoves his hands in his pockets and stalks off down the street because they took a limo and Burt will be mad enough at him for getting into a fight let alone using their rented limo as a taxi service. But then Coach Sylvester loses interest in their quarrel and goes back inside and Jesse pulls up to him and heckles him some more and before he knows it, Jesse is out of his car and they're circling one another barbaric cavemen.

Jesse's sort of cocky now (like that's some sort of change of pace) because the first time Finn tried to punch him, back in the gym, he missed, but the second time out in the parking lot, his fist connects with his jaw so hard that it makes a cracking sound.

Jesse stumbles back a few paces with this look of shock because Finn's almost positive that the pretty boy has never been in a fight before. At least not a fight that didn't include a soundtrack.

"You hit me in the face!" He exclaims in disbelief.

Finn scoffs, like _duh! _ But Jesse just shakes his head a few times before slinking off towards his car because he's a coward like that.

He doesn't feel like leaving now that he's marked his territory. Which he guesses is kind of gross and misogynistic or whatever that word is that isn't the same as masseuse. He loosens his powder blue tie and throws it on the ground as if that were the problem. How can a guy be a man when he's wearing a shade of pastel?

There are students trickling out of the dance. Laughing and stumbling and groping their dates. He should be one of those people right now. Not that Quinn would ever let him grope her, even if he _had_ won Prom King (which how did _that_ even turn out?)

But all the laughing and groping really gets him thinking. Where does Rachel get off? Getting back with Jesse and letting him touch her like that even after everything that's happened. After he'd humiliated her and dumped her and after she would never let _him_ touch her like that in public because it was an embarrassing grope fest.

He's fuming again but then he thinks about the way she was singing to him before and how that felt more gropey than any physical touch exchanged with Jesse. Like if she were completely naked and just letting him watch her and all these images of him touching her and kissing her just flashed through his mind.

All while he was dancing with Quinn. That probably wasn't very cool.

He can't help it though. He's kept Rachel at arm's length because she's kind of sort of been camped out there anyway and the thought of her _actually moving on_ hadn't really crossed his mind because she was so stubbornly waiting for him to come around. And it's screwed up and wrong and he's played along with it because honestly he's not ready to give her up either no matter how long he dates Quinn. But now that he's about to lose her? To Jesse of all people? Again? He's not cool with it.

"Hey."

He jumps and turns around in startle. "Rachel, hey," he says.

"I thought you got kicked out," she says in that rare irritated voice.

"Waiting it out," he sighs. "I'm sorry about what I did in there. For ruining your prom."

She rolls her eyes and leans against the handrails. "If anything you should be apologizing to Jesse."

"I'm not apologizing to that douchebag," he quickly counters.

"But more importantly," she continues without missing a beat. "You should apologize to Quinn."

"I know," he says dropping his gaze. "I'm just going to wait a few hours for her to cool down... or days," he shrugs, "maybe our ten year reunion to stay on the safe side."

"She could really use you right now," Rachel says softly. Her voice barely breaking a whisper.

"Let me guess. Santana won prom queen?"

"No," she says carefully. "Kurt did."

Finn's hand clinches into a fist in an instant and he doesn't care that it's still a little sore from hitting Jesse because he will punch every guy in the school who thought humiliating his brother would be funny even if every bone in his hand breaks.

"It's fine," she jumps towards him and places a soothing hand against his chest until he relaxes. "He's fine."

He thinks back to when Burt and Blaine were lecturing Kurt about his kilt and all he did was sit there in silence because he wanted to believe just as much as Kurt had that the school had changed and that it was okay to make a spectacle so long as he was being true to himself. "I should have looked out for him. I promised Burt I would."

"There's no way you could have known," she offers. "None of us could."

"I'm just such an idiot," he groans and drops to the stairs in defeat.

"Don't say that," she says sweetly and sits beside him even though he doesn't deserve it.

"I let Kurt down. I'm losing Quinn," he turns to face her. "I'm losing you."

Her eyes search his and her lips part like they always did right before he kissed her. He feels himself drawing toward her. Somehow when he's near her there's always this pull. Like he can sense her and he can read her, like she's always at arm's length even when she's not there at all.

"Don't get back together with Jesse," he begs.

She snaps out of it then. Climbs to her feet and heads back up the stairs. "I should head back in," she explains. And even when the rush of music rises and falls with the door and he's left alone in the parking lot he can still feel her sitting next to him and he misses her being there.

* * *

She notices Quinn pass the empty chair beside Finn and sink into a seat in the back row. It's as if the gesture is surrounded by bells and whistles and every member of the glee club sort of lean towards each other with a conspiratorial whisper. Rachel only glances over her shoulder and throws Finn a small smile. His eyes light up for a moment but then shoot to Jesse who rises to join Mr. Schue at the front of the choir room.

She keeps her head buried in her rhyming dictionary through the rest of rehearsal scribbling furiously about a boy who wants a girl only when she's gone and the things that she'd say to him even though she know she never would. On her thirteenth page, at which point she realizes is far too long of a composition for an eight minute performance slot, she looks up to see that everyone else in the club has left and that Mr. Schue and Jesse are standing in his office discussing choreography (the only aspect Mr. Schuester is still lenient on) which really translates into Jesse vehemently insisting that Finn perform the entire show in a wheel chair to mirror Artie and limit the focus his height will gain while he butchers the dance moves.

Her attention is drawn to the piano where the subject in reference sits plunking on the keys.

"Composing your masterpiece?" She asks crossing the room and sliding onto the bench beside him.

He throws her a quick glance then tinkers with a few keys. "Something like that."

"What about?" She prods.

"Loneliness. Heart ache. Despair," he shrugs his shoulder. "The usual, I guess."

She nods in understanding and folds her notebook shut before he can catch sight of any of her lyrics. "Sounds like Quinn did quite a number on you."

"You heard about that, huh?" He cringes.

"Well I figured as much," she shrugs. "I mean there was this sort of icy draft that froze the choir room when she walked past you."

He nods a few times but seems lost in thought, hitting the same key over and over again like his mind is stuck in a loop. "A few years ago," he finally begins. "My mom was dating this guy named Darren. He was like the coolest guy I had ever met. At least that's what I thought at the time." He pauses to lick his lips and his eyes narrow as he tries to remember the whole story. "And then one day he was gone and I was mad. Like really mad. And my mom sat me down and explained to me that sometimes when you love somebody you can't make it right, no matter how hard you try."

Rachel frowns and wonders if he's talking about her but then he glaces at her and smiles sadly. "I realized at the funeral that that's the way I feel about Quinn." He tilts his head questioningly. "Or don't." He shakes his head and reevaluates what he's trying to say. "I just realized that even when there's no lying or cheating, even when everything is _normal_ between us... we're just not right for one another. And life's too short to pretend that that's okay."

She can feel her heart swelling in her throat and she searches for the words to match his because for once he's so well spoken and deep but instead all that tumbles out is "I kissed Jesse."

"I know," he replies dropping his gaze to his lap. "Well I saw," he corrects. "I mean I wasn't following you or anything, I just sort of stumbled in on it."

"Oh," she frowns.

"Are you..." the words hang in the air and he doesn't finish the sentence because they both know it ends with _together?_

Her mouth gapes open because she's at a loss for words. Jesse is everything Finn is not and he just makes so much sense in her life. Jesse is her Quinn, she realizes, and just as Finn needed time to explore those feelings, suddenly she feels the need to explore these.

But more importantly, she decides , she's not going to let relationship drama sabotage her like it did at Regionals last year (or for every competition they've been in, come to think of it). No, she is going to approach Nationals with nothing but a professional attitude. No Finn. No Jesse. Just a blank notebook, her rhyming dictionary, and her Best of Joni Mitchell CD.

"I don't have time for this," she says gathering her things. "We have a competition to win. I suggest you get your had in the game."

She can feel Finn's eyes on her as she walks away but for once she only holds her head up and keeps moving forward.

* * *

Sunday morning when they get back to Lima, he rushes straight to his room, lays in bed all day and listens to Journey. Loudly. He has to go back to school tomorrow, which is pretty much the last thing he wants to do because he's fairly certain that Santana will have his locker booby trapped with razor blades or something, and Rachel will probably just sigh a lot and talk about how great things _could_ have been had they won or how great New York will be when she leaves forever for it and those are types of things he really doesn't want to hear right now.

Basically he's ruined everything and doesn't want to face the shit storm he's unloaded.

Kurt busts through his bedroom door, which is weird because it was locked, and snatches his iPod.

"Hey!" Finn grunts in annoyance. "I was swallowing!"

Kurt glares at him. "You mean wallowing."

"Whatever," he rolls his eyes.

"As big of a fan as I am of Steve Perry's crooning," Kurt says, "enough is enough already."

"That's easy for you to say," he whines in return. "You didn't just flush your future down the toilet in front of thousands of people all while throwing away your last chance with the girl of your dreams."

"That _would_ be a difficult feat," he agrees. "Seeing as the likelihood of Mr. Schuester bestowing the big solo on my slender shoulders come competition time is about as likely as Marion Cottilard showing up on the stage of a high school level show choir competition." He sees that Finn is totally _not_ keeping up with him and simplifies himself (he has to do that a lot). "Or in terms that you could understand: not very likely."

Finn's not in the mood for Kurt's sarcasm, "You know what I meant."

"You're being dramatic," Kurt says dryly. "And that's coming from me."

He sits up on his elbows to look at his brother. "For the past few months all she's ever wanted was to get back together. And when I finally got back to that place where I was ready for it, suddenly in the blink of an eye, she's totally over it. How am I supposed to react?"

"All she's ever wanted?" He asks folding his arms over his chest.

Finn drops his gaze because he knows that he's busted.

"You and I both know that this past year Rachel has lost her way. Lost her focus and ambition. New York City was her wake up call, Finn."

Finn sits up and watches Kurt as he leans against his desk. "And I'm the only thing left standing in her way."

"Dramatic," Kurt reminds him.

"I screwed up Nationals by kissing her," he argues. "How can she ever get back together with me when at the end of the day she knows I'm just going to be selfish and try to make her stay?"

Kurt purses his lips and picks up the snow globe sitting on his desk. "There is always another option," he says extending the globe towards Finn's hand. "If she's worth it."

He holds the snow globe in his hand and stares at the New York City skyline trapped in the bubble. He carries it everywhere with him. Sits it next to his water glass at the dinner table. Rests it on the soap dish in the shower. Props it on the corner of his desk in all his classes. Everywhere he goes he just sits and stares at the city in a bubble.

When she finally finds him in the library, hidden between the stacks, she sits next to him and asks, "Was it worth it?"

He looks at the snow globe and grins. "Yeah," he says.

And maybe he'll never make it to that city in a bubble and maybe this year is all they'll have left. But all the hard work and all the pain and all the struggles, he's not just going to run away from them this time. Because he knows now that she's worth it.


End file.
